THE DISTINCTION BETWEEN SENSUAL LOVE AND GENUINE LOVE

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The distinction between sensual love and genuine or true love is the selfish desire of libido in the former and self-sacrificing zeal of self-less affection in the later. Although the two emotions have some characteristics in common, and because of that, sensual love is often mistaken for genuine love. An essential and invariable ingredient in genuine or true love as well as in sensual love is the imperative desire for an absolute dominance of the beloved person. While in sensual love the desire springs from an egotistic source, but in genuine or true love, selfish elements are strange to the desire.

Photo by Mandy von Stahl on Sensual and Genuine love

The only true index of genuine love or true love lies in the sacrifice of one’s own happiness for another person’s sake. Genuine or true love is always ready to lose its own life in an effort to save another’s. Genuine or true lover is in fact, not less over-joyed to have his affection returned; but if the love is not reciprocated, his love is, not like sensual love that will turn into resentment. He will not less be affectionate. He will never be delighted with the blood of his beloved, even if he is rejected. But if his love is reciprocated, his constant solicitude will be how he can make his beloved happy and save the adored person from grief, at whatever cost to his own comfort. He feels joys and sorrows of his beloved as if they were his own.

Genuine or true love is, hence, slows in coming and is a child of a higher civilization, and is only known to the cultured and refined class of people. It is only when humanity as a whole, will reach the state of civilization when both male and female show not only their respective physical qualities but also their mental secondary characters, then will genuine admiration and respect enter into the relation of both parties. And love will then becomes more and more fastidious and more regardful of intellectual worth and moral beauty, and true love will be made possible. In true love, the woman must show the same traits as in her maternal capacity. She has to be a real mother to the man whom she loves. Because the man starts life at a woman’s knees, and it is to a woman’s knees that he returns when he marries. But woe to him and her, if the second woman’s love is less selfish and sacrificing than that of the first woman, which is the mother, a sympathetic disposition is as essential to the individual who wishes to be loved truly and permanently. Cruel indifference is always compatible with sensual love, but it is fatal to love based on sentiment (opinion, impression, persuasion). Mere sensual infatuation could be strong and unprincipled enough to lead a person to sacrifice honor and self-respect for the caprices (fancy, impulse, humor) of another. But genuine or true love would turn into disrespect for the one who could promiscuously subject it to persistent insults and degradation, and disrespect is the death of genuine love, but yet compatible with sensual love.

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