THE CHOICE OF A WIFE
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| relationship tips |
Whether a man shall be made or scarred by marriage greatly depends upon the choice he makes of a wife. Nothing is better than a good woman or anything worse than a bad one. It is useless to seek perfection in a wife nor is it wise to marry for beauty alone; as even the finest landscape, seen daily, becomes monotonous, so does the most beautiful face, unless a beautiful nature shines through it. The beauty of today becomes commonplace tomorrow; whereas goodness, displayed through the most ordinary features, is forever lovely. Furthermore, this kind of beauty improves with age, and time ripens rather than destroys it. No man is so much to be pitied as the husband of a “professional beauty.” Nevertheless, beauty, when it indicates health, or when it is the outward and visible sign of an inward and spiritual grace, is valuable and has a great power of winning affection.
The important thing for a man to do is to keep in mind the fact that a man’s prospect of domestic felicity does not depend upon the face, the fortune, or the accomplishments of his wife, but upon her character. It is better to dwell with a lion and a dragon than to keep a wicked woman in the house. He that has hold of her is as though he held a scorpion. A loud crying woman and a scold shall be sought out to drive away the enemies, while on the other hand, the grace of a wife delights her husband, and her discretion will fatten her bones. A silent and loving woman is a gift of the lord, and there is nothing so much worth as a mind well instructed.
Above all things, a man should not marry a fool who will shame him and reveal his secrets. The wife who does not and cannot make use of reason to overcome the daily difficulties of domestic life, and who can in no sense be called the companion of her husband, is a mate who hinders rather than helps, it is hard enough for a man to be married to a bad woman; but for a man who marries a foolish woman there is no hope. A man takes to himself one of the bitterest of earth’s curses who marries carelessly instead of seeking with all diligence for those qualities in a wife that are the foundation of lasting happiness.
A woman ought to be able to make the house pleasant to her husband’s friends; she ought to attract them to it by her grace. She should be, if not clever, an appreciator of cleverness. And above all, she should have a sense of humor, for a woman without a laugh in her is the greatest bore in existence.
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