IDEAL RELATIONSHIPS BETWEEN THE HUSBAND AND WIFE
The ideal relationship between husband and wife has always appeared to be comradeship, a standing shoulder to shoulder, upon each other through thick and thin, above all keeping their inner sanctuary sacred from the world. The wife, who willingly lifts the veil from her married life, transforms it from a sanctuary into a vulgar place. The craving for details relating to the private life of those who may in any degree stand out among their fellows has developed into a species of disease.
The ideal husband is no more perfect than the ideal wife, nor would she wish to be other than he is, manly, generous, kindhearted, well-conditioned, and above all things, true as steel. That he occasionally loses his temper and does many thoughtless and stupid things, makes no difference so long as his heart is pure, tender and true.
The duties and responsibilities of the husband in the house are surely not less binding than those of the wife; he has to contribute his share towards its happiness or misery. The ideal husband from a woman’s point of view is a many-sided creature but his outstanding characteristic must of necessity be his power to make the home of which he is the head comes as near to the heavenly type as may be in this everyday routine. No matter how wise and wifely and absolutely painstaking in her endeavor, a wife maybe, she cannot be without physical and make a perfect home; it must be a joint concern.
The home-making and home-keeping quality is the man’s existence as a husband, for his home with its shelter, adequate or inadequate, is all he has to offer in exchange for the woman who has given him herself.
The quality that is most of all admired by a woman in man is manliness; she can forgive almost anything but his lack of courage. The manly man conscious of his strength is of necessity tender and considerate towards those weaker than him, and so wins their confidence and love. When he marries, therefore, he takes a wife to shield her from the rude blasts of the world, all that his care and tenderness can do will be done to make lighter for her the ordinary burdens of life.
It is well with the man who has in his wife not only a bright companion for his days of sunshine but who in the crises of his life finds in her heart the jewel of common sense and the pearl of a quick understanding. The monetary basis of the matrimony does not always sound good in many homes. How common it is for a man to keep his wife in utter ignorance of the state of his affairs, thus depriving her of the only safe guide she can have in the conduct of her domestic affairs. If a woman is to be a man’s true helpmeet, she must stand shoulder to shoulder with him in everything, sharing as far as is possible his anxieties and his hopes, and by the judicious expenditure of his means aiding him to the best position, it is possible for him to attain.
No sensible woman will desire to keep her husband always at her side, nor can any woman make a more profound mistake than to try and wean the man she has married away from all his friends and associations, speaking of good men. Yet this is a mistake which many women make. The wise wife, instead of being so small-minded and jealous, should try to remember that there is a side of man’s nature which demands sympathy and contact with his own sex, and also that her husband knew and love these old friends of his perhaps before he ever saw her. She should try instead to make them all so welcome in her home that they will come and come again.
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